Retail Therapy: 6 Halloween costumes to chill your fashion sense to the bone
From offensively political to flat-out ridiculous, these costumes take trick-or-treating to a whole new level.
It’s been another weird week in retail — and Halloween just made it a whole lot weirder.
From custom-made horse hooves to banana costume lawsuits, this year’s offerings are occasionally overly political, sometimes too sexual and always hard to believe.
Ready or not, here come the six most ridiculous Halloween costumes of 2017.
1. A horse of a different color
Spirit animals are a big deal nowadays and unicorns are even bigger. Starbucks alone proved that with the unicorn frappuccino — that shimmering drink that polarized so many loyal Starbucks customers.
But why be a unicorn when you can be a horse with specially-made horse hooves?
Consumers are chopping at the bit to get their hands on $285 Shetland pony-like hoove costumes sold on Etsy. Pair the "Creature Feet Unisex Faux Fur Feathered Brown Horse Hooves" with… well we're not exactly sure (maybe a saddle?) for a Halloween look that says Black Beauty, centaur and "really into horses" all at the same time.
Idea still seems ludicrous? The creator assures us that these hooves are about as comfortable as most high heels, not to mention that they’re "personally field test[ed]," and you "can even run in them!"
Don’t be too quick to put the horse before the cart, though — they’re "best suited for flat terrain."
2. Kmart goes bananas over Halloween costume
Many things come to mind when banana costumes are involved: children, college campuses and low-effort adult parties, to name a few. Until recently, "lawsuit" wouldn’t have made the cut, but thanks to Kmart and Rasta Imposta, the banana costume has taken on a whole new level of importance.
Rasta Imposta, after seeing Kmart’s "Totally Ghoul Mr. Banana Adult Halloween Costume," filed a lawsuit against the company for "unfair competition," Reuters reports. Turns out Rasta Imposta is a big player in the banana costume market (and we mean, extensive), and it didn’t take kindly to Kmart ripping off its design.
According to the complaint, Kmart’s costume "has the same shape as the Banana Design the ends of the banana are placed similarly, the vertical lines running down the middle of the banana are placed similarly, the one-piece costume is worn on the body the same way as the Banana Design, and the cut out holes are similar."
Valid or not, there’s nothing quite like two companies arguing over who did the adult banana man better. Or, as Gwen Stefani would say: B-A-N-A-N-A-S!
3. Let’s get freaky — and political
It’s hard to remember a time when politics wasn’t prominently figured in Halloween costumes. From creepy political masks to the "Adult Presidential Piggy Back Costume" — Halloween is everyone’s favorite time to mock the political beliefs of others.
Not surprisingly, this year’s worst political costumes centered around some of the Donald’s most controversial policies. Spirit Halloween’s "Border Babe Adult Women’s Costume," reported by Teen Vogue, is — shockingly — sold out.
Where are people wearing this costume? "A Mexican-themed birthday party," says one reviewer. Because who needs political correctness when you can risk offending someone instead?
Watch out, trick-or-treaters, politics is coming out to play.
4. Too sexy for my costume?
Yandy.com has struck again. After the sexy Jon Snow costume and the Harry Potter lingerie, you’d think Yandy would be almost out of ideas. As it turns out, Yandy has plenty of thoughts on how to turn what should be regular costumes into "sexy" women’s garb.
Want to look like Pennywise the clown meets scantily-clad church girl? Yandy’s got a costume for that. It’s called the "Dancing Sewer Clown" — because the best way to get people’s attention is mash up two things that really shouldn’t go together.
Why stop there? Yandy also has a "Killer Doll" costume that pairs blood spots and a knife with a strangely sexualized leotard, as well as an "Upside Down Honey" costume — a not-so-subtle Stranger Things reference that gives adults the opportunity to turn a 12 year-old character into a provocative Halloween costume.
I guess Lindsay Lohan was right about girls and Halloween costumes.
5. Halloween is one size fits all at H&M
Some people go hard for Halloween — others take a white sheet, cut two holes in it and call it a day. H&M’s Halloween offerings are somewhere in between the two, reports Us Magazine.
With a collection that says "I wanted to dress up, I just didn’t have time," H&M offers perhaps the broadest assortment of onesie Halloween costumes on the market. And while 'onesie' might bring to mind images of small children, H&M’s website wants no confusion — they’re for adults.
They say hard work always pays off, but why put effort into your Halloween costume when you can spend $39.99 for full-body pajamas instead?
6. KFC makes Halloween finger lickin’ good
Last but certainly not least: KFC dished up a cheap — albeit creepy — costume that brings Colonel Sanders door to door this year, Marketing Dive reports.
While KFC made news earlier this year for its chicken-themed clothing and accessories line, which included a $20,000 Chicken Zinger meteorite, the "Halloween Harland" costume is both cheaper and creepier.
It only takes $5 to get a "Colonel mask with REAL working eyeholes and a one-size fits all, genuine plastic bib that contains the rest of the costume. Surprise your friends! Frighten total strangers! Trick or treat and demand fried chicken instead of candy!"
What can we say? Nobody does chicken-themed costumes like KFC.
This story is part of our ongoing coverage of the 2017 holiday shopping season. You can browse our holiday page and sign up for our holiday newsletter for more stories.
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