Retail Therapy: Not-your-muggle's lingerie
This Harry Potter-themed lingerie lets you solemnly swear that you’re up to no good — suspenders, tie and all.
It’s been another weird week in retail.
Yandy.com began selling lingerie that you’re more likely to find on Diagon Alley than on Fifth Avenue, Starbucks is serving its latest coffee with a side of jerky and a closing Kmart turned out to be a treasure trove of $4 Supreme t-shirts.
This, and more, in this week’s Retail Therapy.
HP fans give "mischief managed" a whole new meaning with this lingerie
For every Harry Potter fan that remembers sitting at home on their eleventh birthday, eyes searching the skies hopefully for the sign of a stray owl, this one goes out to you.
In a move (hopefully) targeted towards the over-18 crowd, Yandy.com has started selling Gryffindor-themed Harry Potter lingerie in honor of Harry’s 37th birthday on July 31st, Teen Vogue reports. A $42.95 investment (which converts to 5.84 Galleons for those purchasing in standard wizard currency) is all you need to snag this "Yandy Magical Student Fantasy Lingerie Costume" that will let you play out your childhood and adult fantasies at the same time.
The set comes with a "sheer, grey lace crop top with a white collar, a sheer, burgundy high waisted panty with a grey lace trim, a cheeky cut back, removable burgundy and gold suspenders, and a matching tie." The distinctive red and gold coloring ensures that no one will doubt your rightful Gryffindor status, no matter what your Pottermore results were (yes, Hufflepuff’s, even you).
For those disappointed that the wand and glasses are not included, you’d do well to remember that: first, the wand chooses the wizard and second, Harry’s glasses are prescription. To ensnare a Harry Potter fan faster than you can say "Amortentia," pair this lingerie set with your time-turner necklace, golden snitch ring and favorite Harry Potter spellbook.
Accio Harry Potter fantasies!
Starbucks with a shot of jerky, please
Starbucks has been kicking ass and taking names when it comes to coffee-related beverages that have limited success to go with their limited edition labels. With a comprehensive list that ranges from the Unicorn Frappuccino to the Midnight Mint Mocha to the Ombre Pink Drink, Starbucks is ready to add another to that infamous list.
In what seems like a competition that Starbucks is having with itself, the coffee shop’s latest drink is even worse than those that came before. Dubbed the "Pepper Nitro with a Jerky Twist," according to Teen Vogue, we can only assume this latest drink is Starbucks’ attempt to speed up its race to the bottom.
According to reports, the drink is served with "malted pepper syrup, cracked pink peppercorn" and "topped with a cold honey foam" — and a beef jerky garnish, of course. While the abomination is still arguably better than sending a lactose-intolerant customer to the bathroom 11 times over a botched order, we’re not sure exactly where you draw that line.
So next time you’re looking for a drink to pair with filet mignon — or breakfast bacon, for that matter — put back the cab sauv and pick up the signature Pepper Nitro instead.
When the K-mart door closes… the $4 supreme t-shirt door opens
Turns out you can find all kinds of things at a Kmart that’s facing its last days — including $4 Supreme t-shirts.
For those not tuned to the streetwear scene, Supreme shirts generally retail for somewhere between $32 and $40, but one lucky shopper poking through the dying retailer came across one for $4, according to Fashionista. If you’re not shocked by the low price yet, bear in mind that this is the company who managed to sell bricks with its company name on them for $30 each.
Between the tough retail landscape and this latest foible, Kmart can’t seem to catch a break. Even its new plastic bag slogan — "life is ridiculously awesome" — came under fire from Business Insider, who pointed out that the slogan is falsely cheery for a store that would probably be better represented by a bag that proclaimed "life is ridiculously okay."
But enough with the gloom and doom. Look on the bright side: if a girl could find a $4 Supreme shirt at a closing Kmart, just imagine what would turn up at a closing Sears!
The green machine that keeps on giving
The next time you find yourself at a vending machine wishing you could order a firearm instead of a Fanta Grape, the American Green machine might be able to help.
The vending machines use technology to make it easier for Americans to buy and collect adult-only products including alcohol, firearms, marijuana and prescription medicine. And according to Fast Company, that’s exactly what the American Green machine purports to do.
Yes — coming to a location near you, American Green hopes to make it possible to order all of the above items with an app on your phone and then use "vein biometric authentication" to pick them up from the nearest box. This last aspect was chosen over a simple fingerprint because, the vice president of automated sales and development at American Green told Fast Company, "if you cut the finger off, the veins collapse." And really, when you think about it, what else could go wrong?
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