It's been another weird week in retail. Saucony dangles millennial bait with its latest drop, Chanel tries to play it cool in its spring/summer 2019 collection and dolls are apparently designers' muses these days.
This, and more, in this week's retail therapy.
This brand adds avocado to shoes, but it costs extra
Saucony went full-millennial with the most recent addition to the Shadow 6000 collection: "Avocado Toast." The shoe features "toast-ed leather, smashed avocado textured suede, red pepper flake collar lining" and a Saucony-branded avocado on the inside of the shoe.
The company said the shoe is "everything you avo-wanted, even if the guac is extra." Is it though?
And with a price tag of $130 (other shoes in the collection at press time were on sale for $69.99), Australian millionaire Tim Gurner might argue that this, too, is preventing millennials from buying houses. The shoes have sold out in the three days since their launch, but those interested can sign up to be notified when they're restocked.
Who tf decided to design shoes after avocado toast??????— ????Bree (@uhhh_Bree) February 28, 2019
Avocado toast shoes for a buck thirty? I'd rather be barefoot— Dré (@ShawnDreMaximus) February 28, 2019
Avocado is trash on toast and on shoes https://t.co/H8gm7XSDqf— Austin Humphreys (@Mrhumphreys23) February 27, 2019
But Saucony isn't the only brand with ridiculous drops this week. New Balance collaborated with Ultraolive to release an Inspector Gadget-inspired shoe. The shoe takes on the "theme of exaggerated functionality," according to an Ultraolive Instagram post, and features cinching bungee laces, a detachable shoe wallet and extra reflectivity. The $199 shoes also sold out within days of their release, and the only logical explanation we can gather is that people crave absurdity.
Earlier this year Crocs and Nike both released pairs of shoes that resembled grass and before that Balenciaga unveiled platform Crocs.
They say things always get worse before they get better, but we're not sure how many more footwear travesties we can bear.
Designers try to shred, too
Chanel — the company that introduced us to styles that have stood the test of time like two-toned slingbacks and quilted handbags — has a new, atypical approach. Highsnobiety this week put a spotlight on the fashion house's SS19 collection by pointing out that it produced a skateboard ($7,700) and a surfboard ($8,900). While the set of wheels is one of the least practical things we've seen, it definitely is one of the chicest.
But "practicality" isn't in the vocabulary of most designers. As such, Chanel's releases are just another page in high fashion's book of questionable choices, and quite frankly, it's unoriginal.
Hermès rolled out its own collection of skate decks in September 2017, which Highsnobiety reported were priced around $2,900. And before that, Supreme unveiled a skateboard covered in a pattern that highly resembled the Louis Vuitton logo (the fashion house previously sent a cease and desist letter to Supreme in 2000), and is currently valued at $16,001 on StockX.
If the "Skater Boi" Avril Lavigne ran into had one of these boards, our guess is she wouldn't have said "see you later."
Products to take us back to our childhoods
French fashion label Jacquemus made a big statement when it debuted new styles of its "Le Grand Chiquito" handbag at Paris Fashion Week. The bag, which measures 12cm x 6cm, can maybe fit one AirPod, six Tic-Tacs or a single penny. And good thing, too, because with a $522 price tag, consumers won't have any more cash to store in their purses.
But this isn't the only doll-inspired item we've seen lately. Hot Topic last month began selling Polly Pocket-branded items in stores and online in honor of the toy's 30th anniversary. Merchandise includes a pop-up pocket brush, lip and eyeshadow palettes, and a mini backpack, among other things.
Retailers are finally beginning to give consumers what they've wanted since they were kids: toys to help them escape from adulthood.
The accessory every cat is begging for
Urban Outfitters has never shied away from out-of-the box products (like when they started selling packs of old VHS tapes for $40). And now, the retailer unveiled something absolutely nobody asked for: a hat designed for cats. Because nothing makes an animal that's already irritated in nature happier than strapping something around its head. Who does this even benefit? The scratches that are likely to result suggest it's not the pet owner.
But for those who don't have a feline friend to aggravate, they can dress themselves up just as foolishly. Barneys is selling a $275 cat-eared beanie complete with a faux hawk. Because when you've got stupid money to spend, you might as well dress for the part, too.