It's been another weird week in retail. Romance is in the air, but so is heartbreak, and retailers are responding: Save the Chimps will let chimpanzees break your ex's heart and Shots Box is delivering your boozy Valentine's Day plans right to your door.
This, and more, in this week's retail therapy.
Let sanctuary chimps help you move on
A broken heart can make a person go ape.
So this Valentine's Day, or as Save the Chimps calls it, "Chimpentine's Day," turn to the largest privately funded chimpanzee sanctuary in the world for help.
For $75, you get to write your ex's name on a heart-shaped piñata and let chimps break it like they did your heart. If you don't have enough reason to do it already, the donation is used to help fund the care and nutrition of chimpanzees.
The sanctuary, which holds nearly 230 chimpanzees, will then send you photos of the destruction as proof that the dirty work has been done.
On Chimpentine's Day, people can also book a virtual trip to the sanctuary for $150 and gift a symbolic rose to the chimpanzees for $25.
Allow the chimps to take out the bitterness for you. It's OK to choose violence, especially for the well-being of animals.
Bottoms up: Shots Box has your back
Like pretty much everything that involves being around people, Valentine's Day won't look like it used to. Parties, bars and happy hours might not be an option this year, but worry not, you'll still get your alcohol fix.
The Valentine's Day Dessert Shots Box will give you 10 different Valentine's Day-inspired shots for $49.99. The company will deliver a box of craft, artisanal and small-batch spirits right to your door.
Some of the flavors include mint, cinnamon hearts and chocolate selected to "evoke, entice, and enhance the palette without having to go to a bar or fancy dinner," the release stated.
If you're not into fancy flavors, Shots Box also has whiskey, gin, vodka, or tequila options available.
Don't let the pandemic get in the way of your penchant for fancy drinks.
Clarification: This piece has been changed to reflect updated information about the number of chimpanzees Save the Chimps cares for.