Retail Therapy: The brand that Ambush-ed customers with a $400 clothespin
Fashion is quickly becoming a game of reaching into the junk drawer and selling the first thing that comes out. But for several times its value, of course.
It's been another weird week in retail. Ambush is selling clothespins marketed as earrings, a designer is repurposing all of those lost winter gloves and selling them for half a grand, and Ariana Grande's Starbucks drink isn't even the weirdest food-related travesty we've seen this week.
This, and more, in this week's retail therapy.
The junk drawer just got a whole lot more expensive
We're sure at some point every kindergarten teacher has had to remind their students of a couple things: don't run with scissors, don't eat glue, don't clip the craft clothespins to your ears. Well, experiential jewelry brand Ambush is attempting to change that last rule with its "Nobo Clip Earring." The company took an item that retails for a matter of cents and upcharged it by $408.
So is having a clothespin as an earring a thing now?— victoria (@Aluciddreamerr) November 1, 2018
But the clothespins aren't the worst thing we've seen this week. Off White came out with two products recently that "reimagine" everyday items. Like this bolt ring ($335) that every handyman is sure to be rocking this season (a fashion statement and a practicality). Or better yet, a binder clip (which Hypebeast reports costing $100) that will make that expense report the chicest thing on your desk.
The purse no one wants to get their hands on
Ever wonder where all those lost gloves go in the winter? Well we think we've found the answer. Feng Chen Wang recently released a purse that is essentially a winter glove with a shoulder strap attached to it, and all we can say is: fashion is taking a turn for the worst. But to make matters even worse, the atrocity is priced at $500.
To put it into perspective, consumers can buy THIRTY-THREE pairs of these winter gloves for the same price — that's 66 gloves just waiting to be turned into purses!
But unfortunately, the Feng Chen Wang product isn't the only disappointing handbag (no pun intended) we've seen recently. Balenciaga recently released the "Supermarket Tote," which is exactly what it sounds like: a shopping bag. The bag, made of calfskin leather, costs a whopping $1,790. But hey, whatever it takes to reduce the number of single-use plastic bags, right?
And as if we haven't suffered enough, this Martine Ali product just sent us over the edge. Is it a seatbelt? Is it an animal trap? Who cares! It's sure to make a statement regardless, just maybe not the right one.
Ari's on Cloud 9, the food industry isn't
Starbucks this week unveiled its newest drink: the Cloud Macchiato. Inspired by singer-songwriter Ariana Grande and her love of clouds, the drink — which comes in cinnamon or caramel flavors — is topped with a mountain of white foam. However, for Grande, who's vegan, the drink is surprising. Containing egg whites, cream, milk and butter, this is probably the least vegan drink available at the coffee shop. Regardless, it's generating a lot of buzz. But will it beat out the unicorn frappuccino released a few years back? Only time will tell.
The saying "When it rains, it pours" appears to ring true. And for bad food-related campaigns, it's apparently monsoon season. KFC is crowdfunding for a series of bad ideas, like hot tubs in the shape of fried chicken buckets (meanwhile we're still trying to recover from the Colonel Saunders rug the fast-food company released last month).
And then there's Grey Lines, which has a slew of food-scented candles that give you all the essence of a good meal without, you know, the food. But this isn't your typical vanilla or coffee-scented candle. These smell like cheeseburgers, garlic bread and bacon. Yum, right? We'd be more disgusted by them if it weren't for KFC's limited release of a gravy-scented candle last month.
The jacket that's hard to miss
Asos is known for stomping to its own beat when it comes to apparel — remember the see-through pants that generated a lot of internet attention? Well, the fast-fashion company is at it again, but this time with a more vocational approach: a sweatshirt resembling a hi-vis jacket.
The jacket is priced at 30 euros, meanwhile this actual hi-vis sweatshirt from IndustrialSafetyGear.com is about the same price ($27.99). Why buy a knockoff when you can get the real thing for less money, right?
Unsurprisingly, people had a lot of thoughts about the product:
why is asos selling hi-vis jackets as hoodies, what is fashion ?? pic.twitter.com/JYeAkWNTXg— ✨ash✨ (@ashoneill_) February 25, 2019
why is asos trying to get me to buy what is blatantly just a hi-vis jacket pic.twitter.com/e9MtINLlmH— James (@JamesWilsons) March 4, 2019