It's been another weird week in retail. Retailers are now offering pants that are a bit more clear cut, Barneys is selling a paperclip that costs nearly a grand and luxurious cannabis is coming with a high price tag.
This, and more, in this week's retail therapy.
Fashion bares it all
Just two months into 2019 we've already seen some of the worst denim travesties.
In January, Ksenia Schnaider unveiled "asymmetric jeans" — a pair with one flared leg and one tapered leg. And, it doesn't appear the styles have gotten much better over time. The designer recently released a pair of jeans that not only are a combination of shorts and pants — yes, apparently it's possible to do that — but it's also half denim, half transparent polyurethane. And while so many of us would kill for this style, the $395 pricetag may force some us to settle for regular, old blue jeans.
Where one designer makes a bold choice, a fast-fashion brand isn't far behind to rip it off (as Kim K would say) or take it one step further.
Asos recently released a pair of entirely transparent pants, effectively defeating the purpose of wearing pants in the first place. And while these pants are priced much lower (although arguably still a total waste of money), we suggest going in your kitchen and whipping out the plastic wrap to achieve roughly the same look.
ASOS has lost it pic.twitter.com/iZOZ6aTzUS— kazzatron (@kazzatron_) February 11, 2019
I love ASOS but why on earth would you wear that ???????? pic.twitter.com/w0K28Z0mxd— Jess Burgess (@jessburgess75) February 10, 2019
An office supply. But make it fashion.
For some people, finding the perfect clip to hold their wads of cash can be quite the challenge (can't relate). But that's why Barneys is offering this $995 money clip that not only shows you have an absurd amount of money to blow, but also that you're ready to step in at any given moment should the office stapler go missing. This yellow gold clip blows Prada's $185 paper clip right out of the water.
But Barneys of course can't take all the credit for selling overpriced basics. Balenciaga might as well have the words "overpriced" and "nonsense" woven into its brand mission.
The designer is selling a purse with a picture of a School House Rock-esque Earth on it and the words "You are the World." And if it wasn't for the $1,850 price, every five-year-old would likely be sporting it around. But this isn't the only children's appropriate bag Balenciaga is pushing out. The designer is also selling a $1,150 blue purse with pictures of kittens on it. But with everything that's going on in the world, a few more prints of kittens on the street may not be the worst thing ever. Maybe Balenciaga is onto something.
Cannabis goes 'High End'
Barneys this week announced plans to open a shop-within-a-shop cannabis experience called "The High End" where it will sell luxury cannabis goods. Because if you're going to get high, you may as well go full-on boujee. The shop will feature several cannabis-related items such as rolling papers from Devambez (which range in price from $20 to $410 according to its website), horn lighters from Lorenzi Milano (this one is priced at $798.41) and gold rolling papers from Shines ($14 on the company's website).
This is definitely intended for the luxury smoker rather than the "Pineapple Express" stoner.
But if you want to jump on the cannabis craze without the actual, well, cannabis, this company created a bong intended for drinking champagne, called the ChamBong. Nothing about this device looks enjoyable, but hey, who ever said the high life would be easy?
New Zealand just wants a little acknowledgment
The next time you forget to pick up milk at the store or to send your mom a card on her birthday, just remember, at least you didn't forget about the existence of an entire country. An Ikea map recently gained attention after a Reddit user pointed out that the illustration failed to include New Zealand.
The Swedish furniture retailer has since apologized for the mishap according to BBC, and will take steps to phase out the product from stores.
Maybe it's time the retailer went back to elementary school for a basic geography lesson.
New Zealand: exists— Avon DeRussate (@avon_deer) February 8, 2019