It's been another weird week in retail. Oscar Mayer flexes its hospitality muscle, Charmin aims to be there for you for the whole month and Louis Vuitton submits its bid to be the most extra retailer of them all.
This, and more, in this week's retail therapy.
Oscar Mayer wants consumers to relish a stay in this iconic vehicle
It seems as though there's a "holiday" for everything these days. June 5 is national doughnut day, Jan. 21 is Squirrel Appreciation Day and Feb. 16 is Do a Grouch a Favor Day. And don't even get us started on those self-proclaimed sales holidays retailers are pushing out lately. But one holiday we can absolutely get behind is national hot dog day, which was this past Wednesday.
And how might one celebrate national hot dog day, you ask? Well aside from the obvious of devouring the mystery meat, Oscar Mayer had its own idea.
This week the brand announced that its iconic Wienermobile will be available for rent through Airbnb. Guests have the opportunity to stay up to one night in Chicago on Aug. 1, 2 or 3, which coincides with the Lollapalooza festival scheduled for next month.
Childhood dreams can come true! Sleepover in the wiener mobile! https://t.co/7C8Z6m2xpC— Chelsea (@ChelseaVorpahl) July 17, 2019
A stay in the Wienermobile includes a mini fridge stocked with hot dogs and all the necessary condiments for a traditional Chicago-style dog. Although it doesn't explicitly list what's included in that, we can only hope it includes that unnaturally bright green relish or Oscar Mayer is going to have some angry Chicago residents to deal with. Seriously, they don't mess with their dogs.
The RV-style residence also includes a roller grill to take home, all the hot dog swag you could possibly imagine and "adjacent outdoor spaces for the bathroom." We were totally on board with fulfilling some personal goals of ours and booking a stay until we read this.
The listing also says breakfast is included, which we can only assume that's referring to that mini fridge full of hot dogs, which to be clear, is A-OK with us.
Let's be FRANK, Wed was National Hot Dog Day! If you see the @oscarmayer Wienermobile ROLL into your state today, you could sleep in it (Airbnb). I'll try to KETCHUP to it and LINK up with the driver. I'm small FRIES to something that popular, but would RELISH the encounter. ???????? pic.twitter.com/BvSlh2TMEw— Trooper Bob (@TrooperBob_SC) July 18, 2019
Charmin wants the good times to roll on forever
The toilet paper brand recently unveiled a new product, which it says will cover your bum for a whole month. Dubbed the "Forever Roll," the product is designed to let users "Go up to ONE MONTH before changing your roll (approximately two users for one month)." As enticing as that is, we're not sure this is a one roll fits all situation.
Places where this product would be warmly welcome:
- a frat house
- a Port-a-Potty at a festival
- a rest stop on the New Jersey turnpike
Places where this product would not be accepted:
- a home
While we understand having TP security for an entire month may bring ease to the minds of some users (we get it, when you have to go, you have to go), we can't bring ourselves to embrace this super-sized roll.
What we can support, however, is a great deal and this product is just that. For $29.97, consumers receive three rolls and a complimentary toilet paper holder. That's three MONTHS of toilet paper. That means you'd be prepping your Halloween costume well before you had to run out to the store to pick up some more. Amazing.
We think reviewer "Ninny" summed up this product best:
Louis Vuitton hits the net with this one
We've come to accept the fact that while luxury fashion houses produce some of the most classic styles, they also release truly questionable flops every once in a while. Chanel has released everything from surfboards and skate decks to a basketball. Balenciaga tried to cash in on the Crocs craze that's enticing teens. And Louis Vuitton came to crash family game night with its monogrammed Jenga set, which dropped earlier this month, according to Highsnobiety.
Well, LV's back at it again, this time with a volleyball donning that classic monogram pattern. Although the product is a bit sportier than previous products, rest assured that it doesn't lack any absurdity.
In case you've been looking for a designer volleyball. Here to help.https://t.co/VFsKMOUWqe— Ali Kaplan (@AliShops) July 13, 2019
She's out here doing the Lord's work.
Whatever the reason, the volleyball is sure to make anyone sweat as soon as they see that $2,650 price tag.
Fido goes high end
While most of us are currently suffering in the sweltering heat of the dog days of summer, at least the pooches of the world are basking in luxury.
Leashes for only the bougiest of dogs: pic.twitter.com/I1FifXIXU9— Kim Bhasin (@KimBhasin) July 10, 2019
To be honest, dogs are the only creatures on this planet that actually deserve luxury goods because as it turns out, we humans, as a population, are trash.
We're not saying you should go spend $2,300 on a leash your dog doesn't even want to put on in the first place. But we are saying dogs could always use a little extra loving, so if you've got a couple grand burning a hole in your pocket, consider spending it on something that will actually be appreciated. Like a lifetime supply of tennis balls.