It's been another weird week in retail. Neiman Marcus is selling a simple velvet hair bow for $152, Samsung accidentally announced a partnership with a counterfeiter and Michael Cohen adds orange to his spring wardrobe.
This, and more, in this week's retail therapy.
Neiman is selling a $152 velvet hair bow and no one is surprised
Selling everyday items for an absurd price is kind of Neiman's thing. Just look at the retailer's entire holiday catalog. So when we saw this velvet hair clip, you know, like the ones children were forced to wear to church growing up, we weren't the slightest bit surprised that the price was three figures.
Assuming money is practically spilling out of the pockets of anyone able to afford this bow (and interested in buying it), they may also find these totally useless porcelain dumplings appealing (don't ask us why because we still aren't sure what the point of inedible food is). Or maybe this tiger print pajama set priced at a cool $297 is more their jam. Better yet, invest in the Saks Potts checkered sherpa jacket ($1,412), which in addition to costing more than a trip to Europe also looks strikingly similar to the type of sweater that inevitably shows up in a thrift store for $5.
Does money really open the door to the best things the world can offer? Based on these items, it's a hard "no."
Samsung's hype partnership … well, sort of
Some would argue nothing beats the original, and we think Samsung would agree. The electronics company announced on Monday plans to partner with popular streetwear brand Supreme. Except it didn't. Because it wasn't Supreme they signed a deal with, it was a company that produces counterfeit Supreme designs — a hypebeast's worst nightmare.
Without what surely would have been a groundbreaking partnership, what will trendsetting millennials purchase? Perhaps a shirt with an actual manhole cover stamped onto it priced at 59€. However, if the shirt is as unexpectedly popular as poor fashion choices always are, then both the manhole shirt and Vaquera's button down with a spray painted "$" on it ($460, orig. $660) won't be available for long.
There's more than just one way to make a statement, though. What better way to say, "Look at me because I'm wearing this to impress you" than by wearing an earring stud that simply says "Me"? That's $45, or 4 interest-free payments of $11.25, because yeah, millennials are so broke that installment plans on everyday items are becoming a thing. Look out for these the next time Christine Sydelko channels a hypebeast.
Is orange actually the new black? Vogue says yes.
But is it enough to convert even the biggest hater of the color, aka Elle Woods? We're not so sure about it.
However, there's one person who may be grateful for the color trend and that's former Trump attorney Michael Cohen, who was sentenced on Wednesday to three years in federal prison followed by three years of supervised release for a "smorgasbord" of fraudulent crimes.
Don't worry, Mike, orange is really nobody's color.
Gifts that confused us this season
It seems like everywhere we turn, another gift guide pops up. However, if you're looking for the most popular book to give to someone, it won't be found on Barnes and Noble's "Top Gifts to Make the Holidays Special This Season" list. The company compiled a holiday gift guide including items ranging from "reading socks" to a Google Home Mini. However, the bookseller suggests only one book (Joanna Gaines' "Homebody: A Guide to Creating Spaces You Never Want to Leave").
While some lists could prove helpful in narrowing down the search for the perfect gifts, other products ended up on the wrong end of the internet, highlighting items that never should've seen the light of day.
For example, this giant hat/dog bed from Lids gives us major nursery rhyme vibes. "There was an old woman who lived in a shoe." Anyone? Trust us, this isn't on any dog's Christmas list.
Or maybe this art piece from Society6, which decodes those confusing laundry symbols and somehow doubles as art. It's as helpful as it is sore on the eyes. But why stop there? Customers can prove to the world that they are a true laundry expert by wearing anything from the Vaquera pre-fall 2019 collection, which the company dubbed their "Garment Care season," according to Vogue. We recommend the oversized tracksuit featuring a fake "Vaquera Dry Cleaners" logo on the back. Complete the look with their sock purse, which is just that. A sock attached to a shoulder strap. Ah, a true innovation in fashion, friends.