It's been another weird week in retail. This company made pretentiousness its business, water gets a punk makeover and The Met Gala fun continues.
This, and more, in this week's retail therapy.
How to look #classy — even poolside — this summer
Ever been sitting on your yacht and thought, "If only I had a garment that would keep me dry, but maintain my classiness at the same time?" Us neither, because we're not lunatics. But given this new product from Bask NYC, we can imagine some well-heeled folks were thinking this.
The company is selling a blazer made out of terrycloth, which means you don't have to forfeit your style (read: pretentiousness) even while toweling off. But, as we've seen before, the cost of ridiculousness isn't cheap — the garment costs $325.
How many finance bros will be wearing the "Beach Blazer" this summer in the Hamptons https://t.co/n93Hm5yRSf— Amanda Lasky (@AmandaWeindel) May 8, 2019
But since Patagonia earlier this year made it even harder to get its corporate vests, this may be a saving grace for Wall Street's elite.
We predict this style will be a staple from the Hamptons to Nantucket this summer.
Water gets a punk makeover
Celebrities everywhere have praised the wonders of water for their flawless skin, and while we don't buy it, we're all about staying hydrated. But there's been one glaring issue with traditional water: it's simply not punk-rock enough for our rebellious souls.
Enter: Liquid Death, mountain water packaged in tallboy cans. The product is perfect for every straightedge kid, who hates mainstream water, and wants to "murder" their thirst, as the company says.
Yes. Yes. This is the hill I'm prepared to die on. https://t.co/AHDZHnP6k4— Matthew Hughes | at #TNW2019 (@matthewhughes) May 8, 2019
"Many products in the health and wellness space are all marketed with 'aspirational' fitness models and beautiful celebrities. Nothing weird or fun or irreverent. Only the unhealthy brands like candy, beer, and energy drinks get to be weird and fun," the company's website says.
Created by a former creative director at Netflix, the company recently secured $1.6 million in seed funding, led by Science Inc., which has investments in companies like Dollar Shave Club and dog-walking business Rover.
Selling dumb water like this “online” is about as stupid as marketing and business will ever get— Tom Goodwin (@tomfgoodwin) May 7, 2019
We pointlessly destroyed the planet but at least it was a bit rock and roll. https://t.co/hBCdi6yvgw
The company touts its sustainability chops, saying its aluminum cans contain over 70% recycled materials, whereas the average plastic bottle contains only 3%.
If this is what it takes to reduce our plastic production, then keep it coming.
Camp memories are forever
The Met hosted its annual fundraising gala on Monday, and this year the theme was Camp. But there was absolutely no wilderness involved in this show. The theme was based on Susan Sontag's 1964 essay "Notes on 'Camp,'" which defines the term as an "artifice and exaggeration" and "extravagant content," among other things. And celebrities delivered.
A couple of our favorite looks included Lady Gaga. While the pink gown she arrived in was enough to wow crowds, that wasn't enough for Mother Monster. The singer-songwriter changed into four different looks, all designed by Brandon Maxwell, on the red carpet. Truly a performance that needs to be seen to be believed.
And then there was Zendaya, who looked like a true princess in her Cinderella-inspired gown. The star channeled the role so much so that she even left one of her "glass slippers" behind on the pink carpet. And Ezra Miller's makeup artist should truly be bowed down to.
For those of us who couldn't attend the glamorous event, or just want the fun to continue, The Met is selling pieces inspired by its Gala online. The collection includes everything from mugs with Oscar Wilde quotes on them to fanny packs that say "Camp." Our favorite piece is the Moschino Toy Eau de Toilette spray ($110). The unisex scent has "top notes of bergamot, mandarin, juniper, and cardamom; heart notes of lavender, violet, and hawthorn; and bottom notes of sandalwood, cedarwood, oakmoss, and vanilla," and comes packaged in a plush teddy bear. You "just remove his head to spray." Incredible.
Amazon continues to feed consumer's DIY ambitions
There have been several moves in the retail space around home lately. In a Facebook video, Sears unveiled its new logo, which alludes to linking "heart" and "home." But people quickly criticized the company's logo for looking unmistakably similar to Airbnb's logo. Hey, we get it. Mistakes happen. But we feel like this could've easily been avoided, no?
But if the new logo triggered some nostalgia for the kit houses of Sears' heyday, look no further than Amazon. Allwood is selling DIY cabins and garden houses through the online marketplace. A 172-square-foot cabin costs $7,250, according to a Marie Claire report, but has since sold out. And of course it did because the home can be assembled in as little as eight hours for two adults.
Luckily, however, the company has several other models still available, including this cabin kit. While this model is a bit pricier at $18,800, it's well worth it. The cabin includes two floors and a small porch. Consumers can use it for anything they desire — an office, a she shed or, maybe, a place to house the in-laws at a safe distance when they visit.