It's been yet another crazy week in retail.
Cheetos has (re)entered the fashion world, Jay and Silent Bob are huge Wal-Mart fanatics and the all-powerful internet has located even uglier (and more expensive) jeans than Nordstrom's "clear knee" mom jeans that broke the internet earlier this month.
This, and more, in this week’s Retail Therapy.
Cheetos are back in fashion
While the Cheetos brand may be best known for its spicy Flamin' Hot snack and the orange residue it leaves on your finger tips, it’s also no stranger to the world of luxury fashion. In December, Cheetos launched a limited-edition high-end fashion line and over half of the products (including “colour de Cheetos bronzer” and “flaming hot pants”) sold out within a week. Now Cheetos is back with more cheesy apparel (sort of).
This week, Cheetos announced it has teamed up with clothing and crowdfunding platform Betabrand to dish up a 10-piece Easter-themed “Spring Snack Line.” While not yet for sale, users can vote for their favorite item in the hope that Cheetos will bring the snacking inventions to life.
At press time, the “lapkins” were the frontrunner with 89 votes. These Seersucker pants come “with handsome and detachable napkin panels,” so you never ever again have to fear Cheeto dust getting on your nice Easter duds. Talk about a lifesaver.
Here's what the lapkins and Cheetos' other top snack-concealing contenders look like:
Another week, another pair of jeans breaks the internet
Move over Nordstrom, there’s a new pair of terrible jeans in town. Two weeks ago, the world discovered Topshop-branded "Clear Panel Mom Jeans" and collectively said, “Thanks... but no thanks.”
This week, Barney’s pants are on fire. Back in 1985, Doc Brown told Marty McFly that in the future all the kids would wear their pants inside-out. Well, that future is now apparently here, and those inside-out jeans are selling for nearly $1,000 at Barney’s New York. Great Scott!
The jeans, made to look as if they are inside-out, are just one piece of designer Ben Taverniti’s “Unravel Project.” The knee-ripped jeans’ pockets extend on the outside of the pants and are inscribed with the phrase, "To create something new you must first destroy." And destroy he did — a perfectly good pair of jeans.
[you, unsophisticated, slobby]: um, excuse me, your jeans are inside out— Katie Notopoulos (@katienotopoulos) March 29, 2017
[me, extremely cool]: no, i paid $1000 for them pic.twitter.com/5kSFlK5283
While we’re on the topic of dreadful denim — Topshop really needs to zip up its jeans strategy. This week, a pair of $75 “Moto Tinsel Mom Shorts” became some of the most hated bottoms on the Internet... and that's hard to pull off after the whole clear panel knee debacle.
Jay and Silent Bob love Wal-Mart
Every week, I do my research for Retail Therapy... and every week, there seems to be an endless supply of strange stories about what goes on within Wal-Marts across America. Last week, it was cowboys riding their horses down the aisles. This week, Jay and Silent Bob, the comedic characters first made famous in the movie “Clerks,” were seen roaming a Michigan Wal-Mart in search of Matt Bellamy, lead singer of the rock band Muse, who apparently has a mild obsession with the big-box retailer.
Silent Bob recorded the self-described "stoner shopping trip" in a 20-minute Facebook live post. "Let me tell you something — this isn't a commercial for Wal-Mart, although it kind of looks like it, but they've got some good sh*t here," Bob said on camera. "We went to a Wal-Mart last night, and they sell jean shorts. And that's all I wear... I'm wearing a pair right now. Who knew, man, they sell my clothes at Wal-Mart?"
The pair continue to wander the Wal-Mart, ogling Batman Legos and bubble wands in the toy aisle. More than two decades may have passed by since the release of the '90s cult classic movie series... but it's safe to say Silent Bob and Jay are pretty much still the same as they ever were.
Kid shames Gap for making lame girls clothes
Alice Jones may only be five years old, but she knows what she likes — and contrary to popular designs dictated by mass marketing, it’s not pink princesses. She likes Batman, Superman and race cars. The problem is she has to cross over to the boys section to find anything like that.
This week, apparel retailer Gap received a letter from Jones: "Can you make some cool girls’ shirts please? Or, can you make a ‘no boys or girls’ section — only a kids’ section?"
Several days after Jones' letter appeared in The Washington Post, Gap CEO Jeff Kirwan actually responded — and agreed. "You're right. I think we can do a better job offering even more choices that appeal to everyone. I’ve talked with our designers and we’re going to work on even more fun stuff that I think you’ll like,” he wrote in an email to Jones obtained by The Post.
Get ready for a girls' Chewbacca-themed T-shirt to hit Gap stores in April. Jones is trusting you, Gap. Do or do not — there is no try.