It’s been another weird week in retail.
Firebox released a luggage case that lets you get in your own face at the airport, a UPS driver accidentally trapped a man inside with his Amazon delivery and someone, somewhere, released another pair of double waistband jeans.
This, and more, in this week’s Retail Therapy.
Put your luggage where your mouth is
If you’ve ever traveled before, you know how welcome a familiar face can at arrivals. And now — with the foresight of one retailer — that can be your face… on your luggage… waiting for you at the baggage claim.
Thanks to Firebox, it’s never been easier to greet yourself in person after a long trip. With the aptly-named "Head Case," reported by HuffPost, all you have to do is send in a high quality photo of yourself (or someone else, if you’re wary of the judgment of an entire airport’s worth of customers) and the company will send you back a custom luggage covering that smacks of a $39 investment and your last haircut.
For the budget-conscious, the luggage covering is also available in medium ($32.49) and small ($26). Whether you use your luggage to immortalize your glory days or shame the self-confidence out of your siblings, one thing is certain: you will not misplace this suitcase. "After all, nothing says 'that's my luggage!' quite like a giant version of your own face, smiling back at you as it shudders round the conveyor belt." Right you are, Firebox.
And look — having a suitcase with your face on it isn’t conceited. It’s just a little big-headed.
Stuck between a rock and an Amazon package
Retailers are used to feeling trapped by Amazon, but consumers are accustomed to the e-commerce giant falling head over heels for their business. So what happens when an Amazon package — that you were probably looking forward to opening — locks you inside your home?
Well, according to cnet, you tweet about it. Jessie Lawrence — who couldn’t get out of his apartment after a UPS driver jammed his package under the door — sent out a simply-worded tweet that blew up so fast his Twitter app crashed and he "shuttered public access to his account," according to Fortune.
The viral tweet was followed by another calling out the delivery company for the dangers it posed in serious situations: "Sure, it’s inconvenient for us to call someone to get us out, but if it were an emergency, we would have been screwed. We’re five floors up." Five floors might stop you escaping during an emergency, but you know what it won’t stop? Voice orders via Alexa.
Someone get that man on Echo.
The number of double waistband jeans just doubled
It wasn’t that long ago that we only had one pair of double waistband jeans to write about. But lo and behold, another pair has come our way… from the same designer.
You guessed it! Natasha Zinko — the designer responsible for the double denim monstrosities being sold on Shopbop in July — has taken her last design and made it both less interesting and more expensive. Found at Brown’s Fashion, Zinko’s "Layered Acid Blue High Waisted Wide Leg Jeans" are being sold for $1,028.11 (because an even grand doesn’t quite cover the value of 10 pockets and a roll-up pair of cuffs).
If you’re not sure what look to go for (and have some left-over cash), Brown recommends completing the look with "Gucci and Manolo Blahnik," and assures us that the jeans give you "a baggy look while still hiding your modesty because we all know that you never want to give too much away for free."
They’re not wrong. After all, why give away ugly denim for free when you can charge more than some season tickets for the Redskins?
Target plus-size line is way off the mark
Target isn’t the first retailer to suffer social media’s ire by letting down its consumers. Remember the lactose-intolerant Starbucks customer who went viral because the retailer’s order mess-up made him "blast fire" for four hours? It’s not clear whether Target’s recent mishap is better or worse, but it definitely got attention on Facebook.
The culprit? Target Australia’s plus-size line, which was described as "dowdy," "frumpy" and "aging," according to Fox News.
While the big box retailer meant to build excitement around its "Belle Curve" line, it actually uncovered a lot of pent-up rage and customers who would rather shop at Walmart.
Not quite a bullseye, Target.