Retail Therapy: The denim nightmare we wish was put to bed
If you've been hoarding bootcut jeans and jelly shoes in your closet for years, it may be time to break them out once again.
It's been another weird week in retail. Bootcut jeans are making a comeback in the worst possible way, retailers are finally getting hip to gender inclusivity and Payless reminds us that if you can't lead a luxurious life, you may as well fake it.
This, and more, in this week's retail therapy.
Trends we wish never made a comeback
Trends always seem to find a way of resurfacing no matter how desperately society tries to bury them. Somehow, bootcut jeans snuck back into our lives in a truly regrettable fashion. Pun intended. Even Chrissy Teigen chimed in, in hopes of preventing a very real fashion epidemic.
not if I can help it https://t.co/U420tgeHxa— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) December 4, 2018
What's next, the return of jelly shoes? That's exactly what's next. Alexa Chung's spring 2019 collection includes an updated version of the classic, complete with crystal pins. And although these shoes aren't as offensive as Balenciaga's take on Crocs, we can't think of one reason anyone would willingly give these plastic shoes (read: torture devices) another go. It's a no from us. But for the select few who find these shoes enticing, they can complete the look with this jelly tote from Madewell. Call it what you will (we will call it a shopping basket), a statement is sure to be made regardless.
For a perhaps more subtle nod to an old classic, we suggest these scrunchies made from Hermes scarves. Because, hey, if we're going to look like a mess, we may as well look like a chic mess, right?
But there's one thing that we're really excited has made a comeback recently. And that's all of our favorite early 2000s movies: Mean Girls, 13 Going On 30 and Legally Blonde. A big "Thank u" to Ariana Grande and her latest music video for sending us back to a seemingly simpler time.
A step in the right direction for gender inclusivity
Despite the several ridiculous gender-specific items we've seen this year (anyone remember the Doritos' chips marketed toward women?), there have been several leaps toward gender inclusivity as well.
Syro is selling a trove of heeled shoes that come in men's sizes 7 to 14, making fashion much more accessible. Likewise, Jeniece Blanchet's jewelry line is aimed to help individuals express themselves freely. She told Teen Vogue in an interview that her "pieces have no gender, and I encourage men to rock them actually." Because really, fashion should be a form of self expression — who's to limit that?
And let's not forget about the 9-year-old girl who wrote to professional basketball player Steph Curry urging him to offer her favorite sneakers from his line in girls' sizes. Not only did Curry say he'd work to resolve the problem immediately, but he promised the girl she'd be one of the first people to receive the Curry 6s upon their launch. A step in the right direction.
No one will ever be as extra as Priyanka Chopra and her 75-foot veil, but we can try
Indian actress Priyanka Chopra and childhood-star-turned-singer Nick Jonas tied the knot over the weekend in a two-part ceremony that almost made us forget there was even another wedding this year (sorry Harry and Meghan). For the Christian ceremony, Chopra wore a hand-beaded and embroidered Ralph Lauren gown. But it was the elaborate 75-foot veil the actress wore that stole the show. And naturally, people had a lot of things to say:
priyanka chopra's veil is bigger and brighter than my future pic.twitter.com/7UhoGBz92T— b.????❄️ (@foutted) December 4, 2018
Priyanka Chopra's wedding veil is the level of extra I aim to be pic.twitter.com/MgcXN192Qw— Kozza (@Kozza) December 4, 2018
Priyanka Chopra's wedding veil is literally the size of my apartment pic.twitter.com/fmEYnbL3XU— Jaime N (@jaimeneely) December 4, 2018
Needless to say, Mrs. Chopra Jonas deservingly wins the award for most extra queen of the year.
But the rest of us can still try to bargain our way into the club. Some possibilities: try sporting a Chloe earring for a breezy $355. That's right, one single earring, because nothing makes sense anymore. Or better yet, throw on a $400 eye mask made of "baby cashmere" and call it a day.
For those looking for a way to incorporate a bit of luxury into everyday life without a total wardrobe (and wallet) transformation, Gucci's got it covered. The designer brand teamed up with avatar creator Genies to roll out an exclusive line of Gucci apparel. And although this line will be uniquely cartoon, the grandeur remains just the same.
Or instead, take a note from Payless and just fake it till you make it. The discount shoe retailer opened a fake luxury store, appropriately named Palessi, to see just how many people they could fool. Spoiler: It was a lot.
'Tis the season for weird kids toys
Kids are into weird stuff. And with retailers fighting to gain a piece of the toy space left vacant by Toys R Us, the plethora of strange kids products are on full display. For example, CubCoats created a product that transforms from a stuffed animal into a wearable jacket. Sounds cute, right? Until you consider that children are literally walking around wearing the skins of their stuffed animals. *shudders.*
Doggie Doo, which describes itself as "The Famous Dog Poop Game," involves children feeding the toy dog, squeezing the dog's leash and then listening to the dog make "gassy" noises as the food passes through its system. According to the toy's description on Amazon, "Kids laugh as they clean up after the dog." While it would teach kids the responsibility of caring for a dog, the appeal of cleaning up dog poop — although fake — is confusing at best.
And speaking of dogs, this company created a vest to help protect your fur baby from coyotes. Apparently the goal is to frighten the coyote away by how ridiculous the dog looks wearing the vest.