It's been another weird week in retail. Crocs partnered with KFC, home decor went equestrian and Target got in the middle of a sports rivalry.
This, and more, in this week's retail therapy.
The footwear of fast-food dreams
You know what's better than one absurd brand releasing an equally absurd product? Two absurd brands teaming up to whip up something that never should have seen the light of day.
The two brands debuted the season's hottest footwear, inspired by the restaurant's finger lickin' good chicken. Earlier this week the companies' Bucket Clog, which features high platform heels based on KFC's meal buckets, made its appearance at New York Fashion Week with artist Me Love Me a Lot (MLMA). But luckily for fans that love both bad footwear and greasy food, the brands made another product accessible to the public.
The Classic Clog features a flatter red and white heel, a fried chicken print, and best of all, two fried chicken-shaped Jibbitz that are scented. First, KFC brought that delicious (read: disgusting) grease smell into our homes with its fried chicken-scented fire logs. Now, we can bring that smell with us everywhere we go. Eau de drumstique?
Crocs has made a number of partnerships in the past from Post Malone to Balenciaga, but this may be the weirdest one yet. Add this to the list of things absolutely nobody asked for.
In 2020, there's no room for basic products
Thanks to Marie Kondo, many people spent last year purging their homes of unnecessary items that no longer "sparked joy" for them. Well, it's a new year, so it's time to fill our homes with all the ridiculous crap our hearts desire.
And thankfully, retail provides us with no shortage of the absurd. Home decor website 2Modern has a product that will bring out the equestrian in anyone. While Moooi's product, "Horse Lamp," may lack creativity in its name, simple is far from what it is. It's complex, it's mysterious, it has levels to it.
The 90.6" x 94.5" behemoth of a mammal stands proudly in the middle of any room it's present in. It's a work of art, but approachable. Just look at the lamp shade placed atop the horse's head: a real party animal!
We can't think of a single person whose social life wouldn't benefit tremendously from such a product. Horse Lamp is not only a conversation starter, but is also the noblest of steeds. This $8,117 is (probably) worth every penny.
Target creates a whole new sports team
To some sports fans, just hearing the name of a rival can be enough to send them into distress. So when a Minnesota fan came across some mismarked merchandise in Target, it likely didn't fill them with delight.
The mass merchant was reportedly carrying a onesie geared toward local sports fans, but missed the mark big time. The product read "Minnesota Badgers" on it with the Minnesota Gophers' logo underneath. Ouch.
The Minnesota Golden Gophers and Wisconsin Badgers are rivals true and true. The product was made available in four Target stores in the state, and two were sold. The remaining were returned to the vendor, per an Associated Press report.
But what may be the most embarrassing part of this flop is that Target is literally based out of Minnesota.
The store, though, responded to the customer complaints saying, "Color us red. As a Minnesota-based company, we know we are home to the Gophers," according to CBS Minnesota.
But at a time when the country feels more divided than ever, maybe we should take this as a sign of unity. It is the day of love after all.
Patagonia takes oil supporter to court
Remember that time when Louis Vuitton sued a children's toy maker for selling a "Pooey Puitton" product? Well, a retailer is taking another company to court for ripping it off.
Patagonia sued OC Media for trademark infringement after making an apparel line called "Petrogonia," according to the World Intellectual Property Review. And if creating a product that's eerily similar to a popular brand isn't enough, the company selling the merchandise in question is donating a portion of every purchase made to the "Orphan Well Project," a non-profit that supports oil drilling.
It's a big slap in the face to the commitment Patagonia has made with regards to the outdoors and environmental causes. The brand last year said it would stop making corporate logo vests, aka the unofficial wardrobe of Wall Street and Silicon Valley elites, if the companies didn't have B Corp designations. And in the past, it has pledged to donate 100% of its Black Friday sales to grassroots environmental organizations.
Last month, the company in question went ahead and filed an application with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office for the name "Petrogonia," though after this suit, the likelihood of it getting approval is questionable.