It's been another weird week in retail. Cheetos goes for a "Haute" look at New York Fashion Week, luxury brands transition to fall and while the latest trends in footwear are a total eyesore, we're at least thankful they aren't Crocs.
This, and more, in this week's retail therapy.
Color of the season: Flaming Hot orange
New York Fashion Week is in full swing, and this year the schedule is jam-packed with everything from the biggest names like Tommy Hilfiger and Marc Jacobs, to fresher faces like Savage X Fenty. But there's one brand that hopes guests will save their appetite for.
To coincide with the high-profile event, Cheetos announced it will launch a House of Flamin' Haute campaign, which will include a style bar and the brand's first runway show. The event will feature clothes, hair, makeup and nail styling, which draw inspiration from fans' interpretations of the "Cheetos look."
While on the surface a Cheetos fashion show appears unexpected, the snack brand primed its fans for this when it launched a collection with Forever 21 back in June.
We're not banking on it being one of the best shows of NYFW, though it may be a contender for the most delicious.
A new season means a new crop of horrendous designer looks
As the temperature drops and the leaves begin to change, consumers start to transition their closets in preparation for the fall season. But to the disappointment of everyone with eyes, luxury fashion houses are serving up some seriously disturbing looks.
Apparently "scarecrow" is the look of the season. Burberry this week released a quilted flannel-print overshirt, which has patchwork mimicking something straight out of a harvest festival.
But the trend doesn't stop there. Japanese label Kapital unveiled a pair of patchwork denim pants that does an equally good job of scaring any fowls — or people — away. The only place these pieces belong is on the yellow brick road to see the Wizard.
But Gucci wasn't about to miss out on all the fun. The Italian luxury brand released something that's about as useless as it is unsightly. We're not even sure how to describe this garment, but Gucci dubbed it a "rain hood."
Because nothing is more useful in the pouring rain than a piece of fabric only big enough to cover your head. Getting totally drenched is just the price you pay to be a hypebeast. That and $390.
Designers aren't sheepish when it comes to unveiling bad footwear
With Steve Madden bringing back its Slinky platform sandals and Crocs developing more travesties than we ever could imagine, we thought 2019 had seen the worst of footwear already. But wow were we wrong.
Y/Project is selling shoes that we presume were exclusively designed for animals with hooves. They almost pass as a pair of run-of-the-mill pumps if it weren't for that big toe staring you directly in the face. The shoes appeared at Paris Fashion Week in the designer's spring 2018 ready-to-wear collection, and have since made their way into mainstream media.
#BigToeShoe. Looks painful....stubbing that baby will require anesthesia.— Donna♥️TheUSA (@DonnaBeep) August 31, 2019
And according to the New York Post, the #BigToeShoes are selling out. Ugh. While this pair of shoes would look particularly great on a goat, Asos had another animal in mind for its own shoe catastrophe.
The online retailer is selling a pair of shoes that may be better suited for a sheep than a person. The teddy fleece-covered kitten heels were spotted by Instagram account @asbos_sos, which calls out the most ridiculous items on Asos' site.
The shoes retail for around $30, which honestly is a steal when you consider how multifunctional they are: chic bedroom slippers, a makeshift duster/broom combo, the least effective foot warmer. The possibilities truly are endless.
Chipotle feeds consumers bad habits
Chipotle knows we're all trash humans who steal piles of napkins and utensils from its restaurants, but instead of fighting it, the fast-casual chain has decided to embrace it.
As part of a limited promotional deal for free delivery on Sundays, Chipotle is including a complimentary "Things You 'Borrow' Kit" with the first 50 digital orders in select markets. The kit includes everything you'd expect: hot sauce, napkins and plastic utensils.
"Chipotle recognizes that it goes through over 5.5 million bottles of Tabasco sauce annually, some of which go ‘missing' in locations near college campuses along with its utensils," the company said in a press release.
For fans outside of the selected markets, the chain is offering free kits online while supplies last.
At least someone is encouraging our poor habits.