It's been another weird week in retail. Neiman Marcus released its annual Christmas book, Under Armour unveiled its new space suits and Pringles recently released some unusual flavors.
This, and more, in this week's retail therapy.
Neiman Marcus' guide to a merry (and absurd) holiday season
We're just over halfway through October and, according to retailers, we're already behind on our holiday shopping lists. Thankfully, Neiman Marcus is here to make us all feel a little better about not draining our bank accounts on absurd gifts.
The department store released its annual holiday gift book — The Christmas Book. We've compiled a list of the top three products from it that absolutely nobody's heart desires.
For that high-class friend of yours who already has everything, we present you with a champagne-filled vending machine. What we would describe as a statement piece, the Moët & Chandon Champagne Vending Machine ($35,000) provides not only the perfect conversation starter, but also a constant stream of bubbles sure to bring the holiday cheer all season long.
Only thing is: You'll have to pay extra to stock it. Helpfully, the product description points this lucky buyer to "any licensed retailer" to purchase the appropriately branded Moët & Chandon 187ml bottles for the machine.
Perhaps because some have argued the current political environment is a throwback to an earlier time, Neiman decided to send shoppers back to the '80s. The Retro Mini Bling Boombox w/ LED Dancing Speaker, which for $80 could be considered a steal on this list, has Bluetooth capabilities to ensure everyone is rocking around the Christmas tree.
And really, so what if it looks like something you could get on sale at Claire's?
If you've still got cash burning a hole in your pocket and are looking for something really ridiculous to spend it on, Neiman's got you covered. The Pharrell Fashion Mood Flatware Set by Christofle is the finishing touch to complete any dinner party. No one needs a $2,900 egg full of forks and knives, but imagine the look on your guests' faces when you bring out this subpar Easter decoration. Truly priceless.
And because we behaved (for the most part) and landed ourselves on the nice list, Neiman blessed us with yet another "Fantasy Gift Guide" this year. It's got everything from limited edition Aston Martin DBS Superleggera, which was inspired (and designed) by Daniel Craig's 007 (appropriately priced at $700,007) to $70,000 custom dog houses.
There's a lot to say about that last point, but we'll let Neiman Marcus do the talking: "Does your dog feel most at home in a Cape Cod beach cottage or a Brooklyn brownstone? Maybe his style's more midcentury modern with a traditional twist."
Say what you will about Neiman, but they ask all the right questions.
Under Armour blasts off its rocker
The sportswear brand earlier this week finally unveiled the spacesuits passengers would wear on Virgin Galactic's future space travel.
For the first time in the design of astronaut apparel, the requirement for safety and utility has been matched by a focus on customer experience. Watch the making of our spacewear system created in collaboration with @UnderArmour. https://t.co/A8UW4UP2iB pic.twitter.com/JAdzd9Xvol— Virgin Galactic (@virgingalactic) October 17, 2019
The blue suit-boot combo isn't available to the public, but consumers may be convinced to shell out $250,000 on a space trip (which has no specific launch date yet) because of the fact that the suits are giving off major Fantastic Four vibes.
Under Armour's COO Patrik Frisk said in February that it plans to be "a louder brand" in 2019. Well, we'd say it's screaming at this point.
Pringles' bid to win the snack aisle — and the dinner table
We've seen a lot of weird food releases this year (looking at you, Pumpkin Spice Spam). So in these final months of the year, snack brands are doing all they can to unveil products that push the boundaries.
According to Instagram account @candyhunting, Pringles recently released a rotisserie chicken flavor (something absolutely nobody asked for).
Rotisserie chicken seems to be top-of-mind lately, given the fact that Costco recently opened its chicken plant in Nebraska, an effort to help maintain the club retailer's low $4.99 prices of the product.
The product theoretically should be a hit. Pringles? Great. Rotisserie chicken? Delicious. Together? Hm, we're not so sure.
The snack brand found itself in hot water this week when Italian Agriculture Minister Teresa Bellanova pledged to fight against "identity theft" over the prosecco-flavored Pringles, The Guardian reported. Hundreds of tubes of chips were seized from the Veneto region earlier this week. "The name prosecco has been protected since being granted DOC (denomination of controlled origin) status in 2009 and can be used only if authorised by the region's consortium of prosecco producers," The Guardian said.