I open this week's Retail Therapy with some personal news: this will be my final Retail Therapy for some time, as I will be leaving for graduate school in the fall. I'm happy this lasted as long as it did, and I hope I brought a little bit of fun to your screens every Friday.
But fear not, devoted readers — Retail Therapy will live on. Our new associate editor, Corinne Ruff, will be taking over Retail Therapy, so you can still expect the same wild, wacky and weird retail stories in this place every Friday, replete as always with GIFs, jokes, and (you guessed it) Kanye West. Tune in next week to see Corinne's first edition of Retail Therapy.
Because I’m no good at goodbyes, I’m going to let Spock take it from here.
Without further ado, below are some of the most interesting retail reads from around the web this week.
The curse of the cargo shorts
The internet spun out into a blind fashion rage this week, funneling its collective fury towards a common offender of taste, style, and healthy relationships: cargo shorts.
From perosnal experience, everyone ribs the guy wearing cargo shorts until they want to sneak candy into a movie.
— Kellan Keesler (@KillianKeeblah) August 4, 2016
@HillaryClinton what is your stance on cargo shorts?
— Christopher Mims (@mims) August 4, 2016
I don't want history to judge me harshly for not saying anything at this pivotal moment. So here it is: I am definitely pro cargo shorts.
— Joe Donatelli (@joedonatelli) August 4, 2016
The root of the maelstrom? A Wall Street Journal article that courageously detailed the two sides of the cargo shorts debate, which can easily be condensed to: they’re comfortable and useful — or they’re uglier than a pug in a clown costume. There's no in-between.
Dazzle bedazzle
Tonight marks the opening ceremonies of the 2016 Olympic Games, held this year in Rio de Janeiro. While there are 306 events happening across the 19 days of competition, gymnastics takes the gold for the most sparkly event of them all — thanks to the thousands of Swarovski crystals on each of Team USA’s leotards. The New York Times dives into the glittery history of bedazzling every inch of a competitive gymnast’s leotard, raising the pressing question: have we reached “the crystal saturation point” when it comes to these Olympic uniforms?
Ikea therapy
It’s no secret that a trip to Ikea is a great way to turn a normally healthy relationship into a garbage fire of bickering and infantile name-calling. Vice took four actually-fighting couples overheard at the furniture retailer and brought them to a couples therapist who helped peel back the layers and get to the real problems. Spoiler alert: a fight about a cheese grater isn’t really about the cheese grater after all.
Furniture by Yeezy
One way to cure the Ikea blues? Kanye West, according to Kanye West.
After visiting the retailer in April and dropping some pretty thick hints at his desire to design his own Ikea collection, West again sent out a feeler this week, saying this in an interview with BBC Radio 1:
“Yo Ikea, allow Kanye to create, allow him to make this thing because you know what, I want a bed that he makes, I want a chair that he makes,” said West, taking on the role of a college student who would totally buy his designs. Back in his own voice, he reiterated: “I have to work with Ikea, make furniture for interior design, for architecture.”
Sadly, Ikea is fine playing the coy love interest for now, telling Quartz: “We are really flattered for the attention around the visit, and also in Kanye West’s high interest in Ikea. There have been many speculations around potential plans for future collaborations, but we can confirm that we have no collaboration at this moment.”
Sing it with me. Ikea, how could you be so heartless?